i could've used a friend tonight


but



there are none

my chest hurts



and i'm done

separation of emotion from physical contact is not an option

why do i try

to end up back home

here?!!!


begging for an end

i sit with gun in hand


knowing i can't


the looming obstacle
one swift pull

3lbs.





PEACE????

i truly can't comprehend

the path of least resistance has left a hole
there is no alternative

i waste away in solitude
yet this is my haven

bliss can't find me here


to venture
is to lose


im so fucking tired


purgatory
nothing to lose
no one to gain


why do you (I) make me hate
is there nothing else?


emotion is disgusting
i can't find where they belong
they must have no place in my insignificance
die alone
to be alone
the search for companionship is absurd

i place them on the seemingly appropriate table
and end up with burning self loathing
and complete absence of human contact

i find solace with a whore
and can't believe ive been so careless
they pour from me like i'll never care again

drunk and fucked

weak

i can't control

i won't

round hole square peg

i just hope it ends soon